


a soft place to land

by artsyleo



Series: comfortember 2020 [3]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gentleness, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Self-Doubt, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:22:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27374905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyleo/pseuds/artsyleo
Summary: comfortember prompt day 3 - nightmarecallum has a nightmare, and ben holds him through it
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: comfortember 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995826
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	a soft place to land

**Author's Note:**

> tw for reference to nightmares, blink and you'll miss it reference to panic attacks

When Callum opens his eyes, he’s not where he expects. He remembers falling asleep the night before, Ben curled up against his chest, legs tangled together. He remembers falling asleep content, protected from the cold of the night by their duvet and Ben’s warmth. 

There’s none of that now, though. He’s cold, and he’s not in bed any more. There’s harsh carpet on his bare thighs, the unforgiving feeling of a wall against his back-

-and Ben’s not next to him. 

His eyes try to flick around the room, desperately trying to ground himself but it’s dark, and there’s almost nothing he can see. It makes him panic all over again, and when his breathing starts to pick up again it makes his chest ache, like it’s not the first time tonight it’s happened. He’s about to try and call out, when movement catches his eye and suddenly there’s a familiar face in front of him. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Ben says, and there’s barely-hidden worry seeping into his voice, and that alone tells Callum that whatever’s happened must be bad- Ben  _ hates  _ letting Callum see him worry. “I’m right here, you’re okay.”

Ben’s kneeling in front of him, close but  _ not close enough _ and Callum almost whines because he so wants to just be held by Ben, and the distance feels too much like hesitance, fear to be near him and that  _ burns. _

_ What happened? _ Callum signs, hoping Ben can see his hands in the low light, and ignoring the way he knows they’re shaking in front of him. Ben’s eyes shift from his face to his hands and back, and suddenly there’s a gentle look on his face, maybe sympathy, maybe worry but most likely a mix of the two. 

“I think you had a nightmare,” Ben says quietly, shifting closer. “Can I touch you?”

Callum nods, even though the shame burns through him like acid. Fuck, he  _ hates  _ having nightmares, but it’s not even for his own sake- it’s embarrassing, that what used to happen to him as a kid still happens now, when he should be  _ happy.  _

It makes him flinch slightly when Ben’s arm curls around his shoulders, but he leans into the other man’s body the minute he tries to pull away. It’s hesitant, but soon there’s an arm around him, gentle, grounding pressure, and it feels like being pulled back together. Careful, familiar fingers stroke across the bare skin where his t-shirt sleeves end, and slip into his hair where he’s collapsed against Ben’s chest. They twist and pull through the strands, and it feels almost too gentle, like he knows that he doesn’t really deserve the comfort, but isn’t strong enough to pull away from it either. Instead, he just presses his head further into Ben when there’s a telltale burning in his eyes, breathing as steadily as he can because it’s one of his tells. He  _ knows  _ that Ben’s aware of the way his breath hitches when he cries, but only when it’s real crying, when he’s scared or hurt or angry. It’s one of those things that he thought no one would ever care enough to know. Somehow it’s scary to him that one person could know him like that, but then again he reckons that’s what love can be sometimes- being terrified of just  _ how much _ you can love someone, or how much they can love you. 

Of course, Ben does notice it - probably feels the way his chin shifts a little too fast - and the hand that’s in his hair is shifting under his chin. 

“Look at me,” he says, and it hits Callum not for the first time that this is a side of Ben that not many people get to see- the gentle, caring man behind the person that he feels he has to be. It’s a privilege, and an honour, and he somehow loves Ben even more for it. 

Callum shifts his chin up, guided by Ben’s fingers, until their eyes meet and Ben gives him a soft smile. 

“There you go,” he says. “Hey, don’t cry. I’ve got you. Do you want to talk about it?” 

Everything in him wishes that he could, wishes that he could get the words out straight, but even thinking back to his nightmare makes him shiver and  _ he can’t do it- _

He shakes his head, maybe too aggressively, because Ben just pulls him back in, soothing voice whispering small comforts.

“I’m sorry,” Callum says a moment later, and Ben squints down at him, so he moves a fist over his own chest, around in circles in the sign that feels way too familiar. 

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, darlin’, I promise,” Ben says quietly, the hand that’s wrapped around Callum’s shoulder tightening just slightly in what Callum knows to be a protective gesture. Callum’s not completely convinced, and he reckons Ben knows that but it’s something. “Do you need anything?”

“Just you with me,” Callum replies, and it’s almost a reflex, because he thinks that’s all he’ll ever need in situations like this.

“You’ve got me,” Ben smiles, and his hand returns to Callum’s hair, eyes never moving from his. 

Callum ends up slipping back to sleep, the feeling of Ben’s hands in his hair a gentle melody. 

**Author's Note:**

> i mean this is me how could i not write somethng like this for this prompt  
> anyways!! hope you enjoyed. also this fic is named after one of my favourite musical songs from waitress n it's really soft and you should definitely go give it a listen (and just generally waitress bc its amazing). comments and kudos mean the world, stay safe!  
> leo x (tumblr is artsy-highway)


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